


Edge of Schism

by Rochelle_Templer



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (1963)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-10
Updated: 2017-07-17
Packaged: 2018-11-30 12:52:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11463996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rochelle_Templer/pseuds/Rochelle_Templer
Summary: After the events in "The Evil of the Daleks", Jamie begins to rethink his decision to travel with the Doctor while the Doctor wonders if he had gone too far this time.





	1. Chapter 1

There were few things on Earth, or anywhere else in time and space for that matter, which held less appeal to Jamie McCrimmon than long spells of brooding contemplation. But as he lay on his bed in his room within the TARDIS and stared up at the ceiling, he realized that he had little choice in the matter.

* * *

 

_A couple of hours ago, Jamie, the Doctor and Victoria Waterfield had barely managed to escape Skaro as the empire of the Daleks was burning itself to the ground. After taking off, the Doctor had suggested that Victoria be taken to the wardrobe room so she could change out of her impractical and now grimy dress. Jamie had agreed and had led her down the corridor away from the console room to a large room packed with numerous multi-tiered racks of clothing and costumes._

_“All these clothes…where did they all come from? I’ve never seen anything like it.”_

_Jamie wasn’t able to stop himself from grinning and making a couple of suggestions for her attire as she explored the plethora of outfits that surrounded them. A few minutes later, she put a hand to her face and asked if there was a place where she could refresh herself. Jamie immediately obliged and escorted her to one of the guest rooms, stopping once along the way to show her a place where she could get something to eat later if she wished. She thanked him and asked for some time alone before retreating into the room._

_For a moment, Jamie stared at the closed door in front of him and wondered if he should stay and watch over her. Soon, however, he decided that she probably needed time to herself in order to take in everything that had happened._

_‘She’s been running from those Dalek beasties, her father’s gone, and now she’s being whisked away by the strangest wee chap she’ll ever meet. That’s enough to drive anyone round the bend.’_

_Thoughts of the Doctor erased the smile from his features. Despite his relief that the Doctor had managed to escape the Daleks, Jamie couldn’t deny that he still harbored some suspicions about the Doctor’s motives along over some hurt feelings over being made to feel like a pawn in an elaborate game._

_Jamie walked away from the guest room and headed toward his own room. He was tired, both physically and mentally, and figured that getting some sleep was a far more palatable activity than thinking too much about all of this. He flung the door shut behind him and kicked off his boots before plopping down on his bed and closing his eyes._

_But sleep turned out to be elusive and Jamie tossed and turned for almost an hour before reopening his eyes and setting his gaze on the space above him._

* * *

 

Several minutes later, Jamie still had not moved from this position. He sighed and folded his arms up onto his pillow so he could rest his head on his hands.

The way he saw it, he had every right to be angry and mistrustful. Now that he had had time to think everything that had happened, he was able to form a vague impression of a carefully laid plan. He guessed that everything from his interest in Victoria and her plight to his attempts to rescue her were part of a plot conceived by Maxtible and the Daleks to get a hold of this “human factor” that they all kept talking about. None of them had cared about Victoria’s well-being or if he would make it out of these “tests” alive. All that had mattered was the experiment and whatever useful results they could get from it.

And the Doctor had not only stood by and let them carry out their scheme; he ensured their success by manipulating him to do what they wanted.

Jamie scowled again and moved his hands back to his sides, clenching them into fists. He had long since accepted that traveling with the Doctor meant facing dangerous situations on a regular basis and this one he faced with the Daleks was not truly exceptional as far as that went. No, the problem was not so much that the Doctor had landed him in another treacherous predicament: it was the fact that he had maneuvered him into greater peril by playing on his feelings and his inherent drive to protect others and fight back against aggressors. To Jamie, it had been an unforgivable violation of trust.

‘ _If he had jes told me the truth,’_ he thought bitterly. ‘ _If he had jes told me his plan to beat those Daleks and help the Waterfields, I would have gone along wit’ it. Daleks or nae, a McCrimmon ne’er runs away like that. I’m no coward and he knows it.’_

_‘So why’d he do all that scheming to get me to do what I would have in the first place?’_

Jamie’s frown deepened and his fingers bunched up even tighter. He could picture the Doctor plotting out his whole scam, confident and smug. Jamie felt no shame in admitting that the Doctor was far more intelligent and cunning than he would ever be partially because he had recently begun to believe that no one was as smart as the Doctor. But to think that the Doctor had used his cleverness to exploit him while counting on Jamie’s inability to see through his mechanisms was more than he could take.

‘ _And who’s to say that he has nae done this before?’_ Jamie wondered as his mood continued to darken. ‘ _Mebbe this is how it’s been all along. Mebbe he jes expects me to always do what I’m told and ne’er ask questions.’_

_‘Was that the reason why he let into the TARDIS? ‘Cos he knew he could trick me into following his orders?’_

His frustration boiling over, Jamie punched the mattress and sat up. It may have been Ben and Polly’s suggestion to have him join them and leave Scotland to keep him safe, but it was clear that the Doctor had the final say in the matter. At the time, the only proviso the Doctor had placed on his coming along was that Jamie teach him what he knew about piping, but it hadn’t escaped the Scot’s notice that the Doctor had avoided any and all attempts to learn ever since then.

‘ _So that was jes another little game for him then. Another way for him to get a laugh at me while I follow along and keep my mouth shut.’_

Jamie balled up his hands again and glared at the door to his room. He was sorely tempted to march over to the control room and demand that he be taken back to Culloden in 1746.

‘ _Och, what am I thinkin’?’_ he mulled sourly. ‘ _It’s nae like he can actually control the TARDIS. If ask him to send me back to Scotland, who knows where we’ll end up.’_

_‘Besides that, what aboot Victoria?’_

Jamie let out a long sigh and let his hands relax. Even if he could get back to his own place and time, that was not a viable option for Victoria. With her family gone and no way to support herself, she would be in a precarious position if she were to go back to her own time. Besides that, while talking to her, Jamie got the distinct sense that she didn’t really want to go back.

‘ _Prolly tae many sad memories and nae a lot for her to look forward to. I cannae say I blame her for wantin’ to go somewhere else. But where? It’s nae like she can just pick a place and the Doctor could drop her oof.’_

Jamie sighed again and propped an elbow onto his knee and rested his cheek and against his fist. There was no way he could abandon her until he was sure that she would be all right. This meant that he would have to continue to travel around with the Doctor for a while longer.

But doing that also meant that he would have to find some way to co-exist with the Doctor for the time being.

As he continued to ponder everything that would entail, he suddenly remembered Victoria talking to him as they made their way back to the wardrobe room.

* * *

 

_“This Doctor…can he be trusted?” she had asked him. “He seems like a nice person. At least, that was the impression I got from him. And I could tell that my father thought a great deal of him. But you know him better than I do or my father could have.”_

_“Aye, and ye trust me then?” Jamie replied._

_“Oh, of course,” Victoria said with a smile. “Anyone can see that you’re an honest, kind person with no ill will. I’m pretty sure that’s why poor Kemel believed in you too. He wasn’t the type of man who could be won over so easily. So…what do you say? Will things be all right with the Doctor?”_

_“Och, don’ ye worry aboot him,” Jamie told her. “Mind ye, he’s an odd wee chap, but he’s verra clever. His head might be a lil’ out of place at times, but he’s a good man.”_

_“Before, when we were being held by those awful Daleks, he said something about his own world” Victoria said in a near whisper. “And now he says that he’s 450 years old. Jamie, he’s not…he’s not human, is he?”_

_Jamie let out a long sigh and shook his head, and Victoria nodded her own thoughtfully._

_“I see,” she continued. “I suppose that’s the only way he could know about and do all the things that he did. Not to mention the only way he could have a machine like this. And yet you still trust him?”_

_“Aye,” Jamie said quietly. “I know it prolly does nae make much sense, but after traveling wit’ him and seeing what he can do and hearin’ what he has to say…I cannae explain it wit’ words. I jes know what I know.”_

_“No, that’s all right,” Victoria responded. “I think I understand what you mean. All right, Jamie, if you’re fine with going along with him, then I will be too.”_

* * *

 

Jamie frowned and let his hands fall into his lap. The main reason why he had said the things that he had was to reassure Victoria, who he felt had endured enough worry and fright.  However, upon reflection, he realized that it had been easy for him tell her all of that because a large part of him still trusted and cared for the Doctor.

The Scot bowed his head and studied the floor. Now that his anger had had a chance to subside, he felt a little ashamed at how horrible he had made the Doctor out to be in his mind. He was still upset and hurt over what had happened, but Jamie couldn’t bring himself to believe in the black things he had imagined about him.

‘ _It’s nae like that,’_ he told himself. ‘ _The Doctor dinna bring me along jes to follow orders. He ne’er been that way wit’ me before.’_

Jamie stretched out his legs in front of him and scooted back so he could lie back down. By this point in his life, Jamie had seen enough of the world and of people to know that when a man wanted to keep others under his thumb, he’d do everything he can to keep the others fearful and naive. That way, everything that man said would become law and those people would be helpless.

Then he thought back to the time he had spent on the TARDIS. He considered how the Doctor had taught him to read and write and had even given him a wrist watch to commemorate the day when Jamie figured out how to tell time. He thought about how the Doctor continued to teach him the basics of math and science and how to understand and operate machinery, including being able to interpret the TARDIS controls. When he wasn’t receiving more formal lessons in these areas, the Doctor gave him books to read or would tell him stories about things he had seen in other places and times.

The most significant thing of all though was how the Doctor encouraged him to think, to reason, to come to conclusions on his own. When he first started traveling, Jamie frequently found himself confused and more than a little frightened by the vast amount of unfamiliar and unknowable things around him. Over time, he learned to cope with the uncertainties of his new life with the Doctor’s continued support and urging to question and seek out his own truth.  None of this struck Jamie as the actions of a person who was determined to keep him subservient through ignorance.

But Jamie also knew that that was only part of the reason why he felt such a strong sense of loyalty for this diminutive, yet extraordinary man. Another part of it had to do with generous amounts of concern and affection that the Doctor exuded toward him. It not only showed itself in the way that the Doctor had taken the time to educate him in the first place, but also with patience he displayed as Jamie struggled to learn and in the joyfulness he seemed to get every time the Scot reached another milestone in his studies.

These softer feelings also showed up in many other ways as well: the way he made sure to listen and address Jamie’s questions and thoughts, the tightly restrained worry he had whenever Jamie was involved in something dangerous, and even in the highly tactile way they interacted. He didn’t know what it was about himself that resonated with the Doctor so much, but whatever it was, it had helped to forge a bond between them.

Right now, however, that bond was being tested as Jamie continued to try to understand why the Doctor had treated him the way he had. For Jamie, the motives of everyone else involved were no mystery. Waterfield was acting out of extreme duress due his daughter being held captive. Maxtible was greedy for wealth and power. The Daleks considered any life that was not their own to be irrelevant and disposable.

However, none of that could really be applied to the Doctor, and thus, Jamie was left wondering what was going through his mind as he made the decisions that he did.

‘ _The Doctor’s been in danger before, and I know he’s nae a coward either. Was it jes ‘cos he was worried aboot the TARDIS? Or did he think his plan was the only one that would work?’_

_‘Or…mebbe he really was afraid of those Dalek beasties. Mebbe he really was tryin’ to save his own neck first after all.’_

Jamie swallowed hard. His mind frantically searched his memories for any evidence to contradict this idea, and he spent several moments in despair when he couldn’t find anything.

Then, suddenly, the Doctor’s urgent, whispered commands to him as they confronted the Dalek Emperor came back to him.

“ _When I say ‘run’, run.”_

_“Promise me, Jamie.”_

It was far from the first time that the Doctor had used the strategy of retreating to regain an advantage or avoid a potentially losing battle, but something in the way he had made him promise to run stuck out in Jamie’s mind.

“ _I’ve beaten you and it doesn’t matter what you do to me now.”_

At that moment, everything seemed to fall into place for Jamie, and his mouth fell open slightly as his epiphany sunk in. The reason why the Doctor was willing to put himself and all he held dear at risk was because he was desperate to rid the universe of the Daleks and was more than willing to forfeit his own life if it meant accomplishing that goal while possibly saving the people around him.

Jamie shivered; his mouth becoming chalky. Looking back on the Doctor’s actions and demeanor with this slant made things a lot clearer to him even as it also made him sick with horror. He could still recall the moment when he thought that the Doctor had had been invested with the “Dalek Factor” with crystal clarity and it had been terrible enough. Eyes that normally shined with intelligence became dull and cold, a face that usually went between highly emotive and quiet thoughtfulness became a blank mask, and a voice that was a surprising mix of playful, authoritative and compassionate became cruel and empty. Those images were sure to haunt Jamie’s nightmares for a long time.

But the idea that all of this could have ended with the Doctor dying on Skaro was even worse, and Jamie shuddered again.

‘ _Why dinna he tell me what he was tryin’ to do?’_ he asked himself. ‘ _I could’ve helped him. He knows he can trust me. Och, he’s always doin’ things like this. Why don’ he do things the normal way for a change? It’s like he’s nae even….’_

_‘Human?’_

_“Jamie…he’s not human, is he?”_

Jamie frowned again and sat back up. Despite all his quirks and eccentricities, it was always so easy for Jamie to forget that the Doctor was not from Earth. Even questions like the one Victoria had asked him earlier were not enough to shake him out of this mindset. Usually, he took any hint of the Doctor’s alien nature, like what Ben and Polly had told him about the Doctor getting a new body and his occasionally unnatural strength and stamina, in stride and would soon cast them aside.

However, the more he thought about it, the more Jamie considered the possibility that perhaps he could no longer afford to take these differences for granted.    

Still, as much as he could see the necessity to take this course of action, Jamie found himself feeling increasingly uneasy and could not stop himself from wondering how he would be able to continue to relate to the Doctor as a companion if he also had to constantly acknowledge his otherworldly status.

Jamie got up to retrieve his boots, shoving them on before walking out into the corridor. He stopped by Victoria’s room and listened carefully at the door. He could hear some slight movement and guessed that she was either asleep or at the very least trying to rest. Then he crept toward the control room. The door to it was slightly ajar and Jamie peered inside.

There he saw the Doctor standing a few feet away, looking down at control panel while muttering to himself. Jamie silently watched him for a few minutes as he moved around, occasionally tapping at some instrument on it or fiddling with a button or lever. He thought about walking in, but suddenly felt hesitant to interrupt whatever it was that the Doctor was doing.

Eventually, Jamie grew restless and was about to turn and go back to his room when something else caught his attention. He noticed the listless way that the Doctor mumbled and fidgeted which was a far cry from his generally lively manner. At first, Jamie chalked it up to fatigue due to getting very little sleep or nourishment over the past couple of days and the stress from recent events and started to think about suggesting to him that he get some rest.

But then the Doctor looked up, his gaze resting upon the glowing column at the center of the panels. Looking into his eyes, Jamie saw something else besides weariness. It took him a few seconds to figure out what it was, but soon he realized what it was: loneliness. Loneliness tinged with melancholy. A loneliness that was pervasive and deep-seated and a melancholy that was the natural byproduct of seeing and experiencing great sorrow far too many times over far too many years. It had created shadows in the Doctor’s eyes and had sapped his energy.

Jamie edged back into the hallway, another lump forming in his throat. Having lost virtually all of his family and friends to various battles, he knew all too well what it was like to feel totally alone and disconnected from everything. Occasionally, there were times when the only way he could stave off his own feelings of isolation was by reminding himself of the friendships he had formed recently, most notably with the Doctor.

It was then that Jamie wondered if there were still some ways when he and the Doctor were not so different after all.

Jamie took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a moment before walking down the corridor. He wasn’t entirely sure if he had all the answers he needed, but the time for thinking was over. It was time for action.

And now he finally knew exactly what he needed to do.     


	2. Chapter 2

The Doctor frowned as he looked down at the read out on the console for the third time. He was certain that he had recalibrated all the stabilizers correctly, and yet he was again faced with an error message.

‘ _Oh…crumbs. Very well. Might as well get on with it then.’_

He let out a sigh and plopped down to lie on the floor, pulling out his sonic screwdriver and yanking at a panel at the bottom of the central column. Once the panel was removed, he stared at the circuits and wires for a long minute before finding the problem.

‘ _I see. The readout circuit has come loose again. Oh, why can’t I get that one to stay connected?’_

The Doctor let out a huff and pulled out another small instrument from his coat pocket. As he worked, his eyes watered slightly and he surprised himself by yawning.

‘ _I suppose I really should take some time to unwind before too long. A drug induced stupor is no substitute for rest.’_

Repairs finished, the Doctor replaced the panel and hopped up to his feet. He punched a couple of buttons on the console and was soon rewarded with the readout he had wanted to see. He smiled and clapped his hands together softly before reaching down to fiddle with the navigation controls. Soon, he felt the TARDIS leave the Time Vortex and hurl itself toward its next destination.

The Doctor yawned again and patted the console lovingly as he watched the monitors. Eventually, he could sense that the TARDIS was about to land and his intuition was confirmed by a small, blinking light and a shudder that could be felt throughout the room. He smiled again and tugged at another lever, feeling as well as hearing the familiar grind and wheeze as the TARDIS settled down and materialized. The Doctor scurried over to another monitor and scanned the information that appeared.

‘ _Ah, from the look of it this might be Telos, home of the Cryon people. Very fond of the cold and quite friendly according to all reports.  Yes, splendid, I’ve always wanted to meet them. This will be a simply marvelous place to introduce Victoria to the wonders of time and space exploration.’_

The Doctor smiled again and watched as the TARDIS fell into a more dormant mode before stretching his arms and walking out of the control room. He was eager to go outside and see what Telos had to offer, but he was also aware that he, Jamie and Victoria had gone through a lot over the last couple of days. All of them could stand to take a break for a few hours before heading off on another adventure and this seemed like a good place to stop for a while.

The Doctor rubbed his eyes and thought about going to his bedroom. However, he quickly changed his mind and strolled down the corridors to his study instead.

The study was a more recent addition to the many rooms of the TARDIS. Not long after he had regenerated, the Doctor had Ben and Polly help him move some of his things out of storage with the TARDIS itself doing most of the work. A bare space was transformed into a cozy room complete with an expansive oak desk, a large, plush couch and a fireplace that came to life whenever the Doctor entered the room.

The Doctor stepped in and immediately, the TARDIS activated the fireplace. He looked upward, smiling appreciatively, and settled down on one end of the couch in front of it. Then he leaned back, pulled out his 500 year old diary and began to read.

It was after he had read the same paragraph four times that the Doctor realized that his mind was elsewhere. He looked up at the entrance and the corridor beyond it and found himself wondering what everyone else was doing right now.

‘ _Hopefully, they are doing the sensible thing and trying to get some rest. I’m sure Victoria was able to find some suitable attire by now.’_

The Doctor let out a sigh and sat his diary down in his lap. He thought about Edward Waterfield’s last, anguished request that his daughter be taken care of and how he had accepted the responsibility without hesitation. There was the fact that Waterfield had sacrificed his life to save him, but the Doctor knew that it was more than that. He could tell upon meeting her that she was a noble, kind-hearted young woman who deserved far more than to be simply abandoned without family or prospects back in Victorian England.

‘ _She seems to be a bright, open-minded girl with great potential,’_ he mused. _‘I’m sure she will do well in our travels. If nothing else, I’m certain that Jamie will look after her.’_

_‘Jamie….’_

The Doctor sighed again and sat his diary down onto a small end table next to the couch. He watched the flames dance and listened to them crackle as he thought again about Victoria, Jamie, and the circumstances that had led all of them into a confrontation with the Daleks.

He had suspected early on, of course, that stealing the TARDIS had been part of an elaborate trap, a trap set by an enemy or enemies of his who knew what its actual purpose was. This fact in and of itself hadn’t bothered the Doctor all that much. He had garnered a significant number of enemies in the course of his travels, but remained confident in his ability to outrun and outwit them. No, what bothered him this time was the fact that this opponent was clearly cunning, resourceful, and determined. A part of him worried about Jamie accompanying him while he figured out who was responsible and he found himself glad that Ben and Polly had recently parted ways with him so as to not get involved.

Still, his suspicions and concerns had not prepared him for the moment when Maxtible and Waterfield revealed that the Daleks were the ones who had constructed this trap.

And it certainly had not prepared him for the moment when the Daleks demanded to know Jamie’s whereabouts.

The Doctor shuddered. He had managed to defeat the Daleks on Vulcan not long after he had regenerated to his current form. But that success had not erased the memories of the losses he had endured in the midst of another one of the Daleks’ plans for conquest.

‘ _Sara…Katarina…Both of them dying while trying to save others…To save me….’_

The Doctor chewed at the edge of his thumbnail. While he didn’t regret taking the actions he did to save the universe from the Dalek threat, he knew that he would always wonder if the price had been too high.

That debate came to the forefront of his mind the moment the Dalek informed him that they wanted Jamie for one of their experiments. In that moment, he felt his blood turn to ice and instantly realized that he was now forced to consider if he was willing to risk sacrificing another companion in order to stop the Daleks.

It was after he had listened to Maxtible’s theories about what the Daleks wanted that the Doctor finally made one of the hardest choices in his life to involve Jamie in this plot. His mind swiftly hatched a plan of its own when he discovered that the Daleks were looking for the best qualities in humans to add to their own natures. As he continued to formulate his plan, he had also pondered, with more than a little pride; that the Daleks had, quite unwittingly, chosen an ideal subject for their experiment.

The Doctor let his hands fall into his lap and leaned back against the couch. It had been a calculated risk, but one the Doctor adamantly believed was worth taking. The chance to finally rid the universe of the Daleks and of the waves of death and destruction that inevitably followed them was far more important than any one life, including his own or even Jamie’s.  He was convinced that none of the humans around him could fully grasp the stakes that were involved in this gamble and thus chose to keep his true plan to himself.  

As he stared at the fire, the Doctor shook his head sadly. Even though he was certain that, if given the chance, he would not alter a single decision he had made, he had been aware every step of the way that his actions would probably irrecoverably damage the friendship he had built with the young piper he had saved from the massacre of Culloden.

The Doctor ran his hands down his face and let out another sigh. When Polly and Ben urged him to take Jamie with them, it had taken the Doctor by surprise. It had not slipped his mind that part of what led to Katarina’s tragic death was her inability to handle everything that traveling with him entailed, including dealing with concepts that were far beyond her knowledge and understanding.  For a moment, he had hesitated and questioned if Jamie would ever be able to adjust to the world he would be thrust into.

A bitter smile appeared on the Doctor’s lips. If any of his fellow Time Lords could see him now, he knew that they would be confused as to why someone of his vast abilities and intelligence would bother with what they would see as a primitive life form. But the one ability he possessed that they would have overlooked in asking such a question was his ability to sense the essence of another being’s spirit, to see into their core nature and perceive the good or the evil within their souls.  This talent had been put to good use during his travels, especially when he began to truly interact with Earthlings, and had only grown stronger after he regenerated.

It was this intuition that came into play when faced with the choice of taking Jamie with him. At the time he could not form any clear or definite reasons as to why he agreed to Polly’s request, but he could not deny how strongly his instincts had urged him to go along with the idea.

 The Doctor slumped down deeper into the upholstery. He was also sure that the Time Lords would wonder why he would try to educate the young Scot. In fact, even Ben and Polly sometimes seemed to worry that he might get exasperated with having to explain so many things to Jamie.

Honestly, he couldn’t really blame them for that. He was a little astonished himself at how much enjoyed acting as Jamie’s mentor. The fact that Jamie turned out to have a surprisingly agile mind, which made him both a quick learner and highly adaptable, was one aspect of it. However, he also found himself sharing in Jamie’s excitement as he discovered new things and ideas and he experienced a wonderful mix of pride and delight as Jamie progressed in his learning and his ability to think and reason blossomed.  

But just as important to the Doctor were those very qualities that he hoped to distill from the experiment and use in his plan against the Daleks. True, Jamie was often stubborn, impetuous, pessimistic, and fond of complaining. However those negative traits could not overshadow those positive ones he had made sure to extract for the Daleks’ human factor and they also included a strong sense of loyalty.

‘ _Oh yes, loyalty,’_ he thought, a wistful light appearing in his eyes. ‘ _Much like respect and trust, it must be earned. Rightfully so. And I fear I have abused Jamie’s respect and trust far too much to expect such loyalty anymore.’_

_“Ye and me…we’re finished. Ye’re jes tae callous for me.”_

_“Ye don’ give that much for a living being except yerself!”_

The Doctor frowned and closed his eyes. Jamie’s words had stung, but they were not entirely unjustified. Once he was able put aside his own feelings, it wasn’t difficult at all to see how he could be considered cold and manipulative. It may have been by necessity, but necessity probably wasn’t much comfort to those who had been on the receiving end of his mechanisms.

 It was then that the Doctor realized that the decision to have Jamie travel with him was no longer his to make…and that Jamie might have already made a decision of his own.  

‘ _The TARDIS seems to be quite fond of Earth, judging from the number of times we seem to end up there,’_ he pondered. ‘ _I’m sure it won’t be long before we land there again, although hopefully in a less turbulent time period. Then, Jamie can return Scotland. Granted, it most likely won’t be his own time, but it will still be home to him. I’m sure he will eventually adjust and be able to make a very happy life for himself. Then I will simply need to find a suitable place for Victoria.’_

Lost in his own melancholic thoughts, he started to drift asleep. However, a sound in the entrance way caught his attention, snapping him back to full consciousness. He opened his eyes to see Jamie starting to turn to go back into the corridor.

“Jamie?”

Jamie paused, but did not shift to face him.

“Sorry to wake ye,” he said softly.

“It’s all right,” the Doctor smiled at him. “I wasn’t really asleep. By the way, how is Victoria?”

“I looked in on her a little while ago,” Jamie responded. “She looked like she was sleepin’.”

 “That’s good,” the Doctor nodded. “After what she’s been through, some rest is just what she needs. Now then, is that a plate of sandwiches that I see in your hands?”

“Aye,” Jamie said as he turned toward him. “I was famished and I thought mebbe ye might be tae.”

“Oh yes, thank you, Jamie,” the Doctor replied, beaming.

Jamie nodded and brought the plate of sandwiches over, sitting down on the couch beside him. The Doctor snatched a sandwich at the top of stack as Jamie sat the plate down onto a coffee table that was directly across from them. The two of them ate in silence for several minutes with Jamie staring down at the floor.  Soon, they devoured all of the sandwiches, and as the Doctor flicked a few crumbs off one of his sleeve cuffs, Jamie finally began to speak.

“Doctor, I…I’ve been doin’ some thinking,” he said. “Aboot everything that happened, aboot what ye did…and aboot what I said to ye.”

“Jamie….”

“No, Doctor, let me say this,” Jamie interrupted. The Scot squirmed in his seat and took a sharp breath before talking again.

“What ye, and Waterfield and that Maxtible did, making me part of that Dalek experiment, usin’ those other people like that…it was wrong, no matter how ye try to put it,” he continued.  “I get what ye were tryin’ to do, but there are other ways of doin’ things. Aye, I’m still mad aboot all that and prolly will be for a while.”

Jamie paused and lifted his head to gaze at the fireplace.

“But even though I still don’ like it, I think understand it why ye felt ye had to do it,” he added. “I jes wish ye could have trusted me.”’

“But I do, Jamie,” the Doctor finally cut in. “Even if you can’t always see it, I do trust you implicitly. I knew that I had to get a sample of a very specific set of traits from that experiment in order for my plan to have any chance of succeeding. But you see, I wasn’t worried because I knew I could rely on you to act honorably and generously no matter what the Daleks did.”

For a long moment, Jamie did not respond and the Doctor wondered if he was having second thoughts about this conversation. He was relieved when Jamie reclined back against the couch and continued.

“Again, I think I understand what ye’re saying there,” he said quietly.  “And I thank ye for it, but I want to say that there’s no need for ye to try to explain it all to me.”

The Doctor raised an eyebrow in surprise as Jamie shifted his position to face him.

“When I was not much more than a bairn, I met some of my mother’s kin who lived far from us and most other folk,” he said. “I remember how they seemed completely daft to me and my brothers. The way they acted and the things they said did nae make any sense to us and we dinna like them all that much at first. But then my father pulled us aside and told us that they were jes different and that their bein’ different was no reason to nae treat them as kin.”

Jamie paused and took a deep breath. The Doctor could tell that he was considering his next words carefully and made sure to wait patiently for him to continue.

“I suppose that’s a lot like ye,” Jamie eventually said. “Ye’re the daftest chap I’ll ever meet. I figure that’s to be expected, what with ye bein’ hundreds of years old and from another planet and all. How could ye nae be? But what I guess I’m sayin’ is that none of that matters. Nae to me. Ye are who ye are and it’s nae my place to judge ye for that. And I know ye’ll prolly keep doin’ things that don’ make sense and that I don’ always agree wit’, but I can live wit’ that tae.”

 The Scot stopped and looked down into his lap and fidgeted for a moment before swallowing hard and meeting the Doctor’s gaze again.

“I can live wit’ it ‘cause even though there’s a lot I don’ understand aboot ye and all the stuff ye do, I know what ye’re aboot,” he said. “I mean, sure, I don’ know things like yer name or where ye come from, but I know the kind of person ye are. And I….”

Jamie lowered his head again, and the Doctor was saddened by the despondent look on his face.  

“I’m sorry, Doctor,” he murmured. “For not trusting ye. For what I said to ye. I dinna mean….  I dinna want to leave, but I would nae blame ye if ye….”

“Jamie, no. Don’t think like that. Never think like that,” the Doctor said, reaching over to pat Jamie’s forearm. “I would like very much for you to stay.”

“Thank ye, Doctor,” Jamie whispered.  

The Doctor smiled again and patted Jamie’s arm a couple more times, pleased that the tension between himself and the young piper seemed to be lifting. His happiness was short-lived, however, when he noticed that Jamie still had not lifted his head and saw the anxiety in his features.

“Jamie?”

Jamie gulped and shook his head. The Doctor could tell that there was still something that was on his mind that he felt he couldn’t share for some reason. As much as he wanted to know what it was and was tempted to ask him, he swiftly decided that a less direct approach was needed.

“Jamie, I have some things I would like to say to you as well,” he said. “I know that you told me that I didn’t need me to explain my actions to you, but I would like a chance to try to make you understand one important thing.”

Jamie finally looked up, a questioning look on his face. The Doctor smiled warmly for a brief moment before adopting a more serious expression.

“I need you to understand that I have not, nor will I ever, take any sort of risk to your life lightly,” he said. “If I involve you in something that I know could be perilous, it’s only because there are no better options. It’s not because I consider you expendable. In fact, nothing could be further from the truth. But you also need to understand that there is another side to this.”

“Another side?” Jamie echoed.

“Yes,” the Doctor nodded his tone softer. “It’s true that, in some situations, your life is in my hands. But it’s also true that those same situations often lead to times when I must place my life in yours. It would be so easy then, wouldn’t it? For one of us to simply walk away and sacrifice the other one in order to protect himself?”

“But it’s nae like that,” Jamie replied.

“Exactly,” the Doctor beamed. “It’s not like that because each of us is aware of our responsibility to each other and it drives us to do what we must. And it’s also because both of us know that our faith in the other person is not misplaced…or at least, I can certainly say that is true for me.”

“Aye Doctor, it’s the same for me,” Jamie said, a trace of a smile finally appearing. “Besides, I figured out a long time ago that ye’d be lost without me.”

“I don’t know if I would take it that far, Jamie,” the Doctor said, punctuating his words with what he thought was a suitable frown.

“Ah, ye jes keep telling yerself that,” Jamie said with a chuckle. “But I know the truth.”

The Doctor tried to frown even more, but wasn’t able to stop himself from letting out a laugh of his own. He rubbed Jamie’s shoulder and started to move his hand away when suddenly Jamie grabbed at his arm.

“Doctor, I…” he said, his tone anxious again. “That moment, when ye walked through the doorway when those Dalek beasties had us prisoner…I thought…I thought ye had been turned into one of them. I thought….”

Jamie gulped, his grip tightening slightly.

“I thought ye were nae ye anymore,” he nearly whispered. I was…I was….”

“Jamie, I am sorry,” the Doctor said somberly. “For everything that happened.”

  Jamie silently studied him. The Doctor was aware that there was a lot that remained unspoken behind those words, but the look in Jamie’s eyes and the smile on his face was enough to tell him that the piper had picked up on all the meaning that had been there.

 The Doctor grinned again and patted the hand on his arm.

“Now, I think it would be good for you to get some rest as well,” he said. “You’ve had quite a time of it too, you know.”

“I’m nae really that tired,” Jamie responded.

The Doctor’s brow crinkled slightly as he observed Jamie trying desperately to stifle a yawn while also noting how the Scot’s eyelids drooped.

“All right,” the Doctor said. “Then how about a little history lesson? I never did get a chance to tell you about the Crimean War. As I mentioned, I actually witnessed the Charge of the Light Brigade. Now that was an amazing example of both human nobility and tragedy. And there were many other facets of this war which I think could be very instructive if studied with an eye toward understanding the follies that were allowed to happen.”

Jamie nodded and fell back against the couch as the Doctor outlined the nations that were involved with the war and some of the events that led up to it. After a few minutes, however, the Doctor abruptly stopped when he felt something nudge his shoulder. He turned his head slightly and discovered that Jamie had fallen asleep and was leaning against him.

The Doctor sighed and rolled his eyes, but was not able to suppress a smile. He picked up a small throw pillow from his end of the couch and placed it in his lap. Then he carefully guided Jamie to lie down, gingerly cradling his head with one hand as he lowered it down to rest on the pillow. Once he was done, Jamie shifted his position a little before sliding into an even deeper slumber.  

Meanwhile, the Doctor went back to gazing at the fire. His hearts felt lighter than they had in days. He hadn’t expected Jamie to forgive him so easily and couldn’t deny the relief he felt as a result. However as he continued to reflect on Jamie’s words, the Doctor soon realized that the piper had offered him something even more precious than forgiveness: acceptance.

 While he still had a great fondness for all the Earthlings he had traveled with in recent years, the Doctor had been aware that there was always a barrier between him and them that he could never completely cross; a feeling that he could not really integrate himself with them because he was not one of them. He could always sense the unease they held due to his secrecy about his past and his origins, and the alienation they sometimes felt when confronted with some aspect of his Gallifreyan heritage or his distinct viewpoints of the universe and the life within it. There had been plenty of affection and reliability with his previous companions, but there was still the fact that most of them were at least somewhat reluctant travelers whose endgame was finding some place where they could part ways.

  But all of that seemed to change with Jamie from the very beginning. True, at first he had been apprehensive about what he had gotten himself into, but the Doctor could hardly blame him for that considering his background. Still, Jamie had swiftly moved from hesitation to a playfully grumbling, but eager traveler, a traveler who seemed happy with the journey itself and was not oriented toward any particular destination. A true kindred spirit.

Even more surprising now though was the revelation that there would be no such separation between himself and Jamie: no implicit suspicions due to his alien nature, no expectations that he conform to human norms, and no demands to reveal the parts of himself he was not comfortable with sharing. Jamie had just invited the Doctor to be himself and had shown his willingness to take the good with the bad in regards to the person he was. It soon came to him that Susan had been the last person to wholeheartedly accept him this way, and he suddenly realized just how much he had missed these feelings of belonging now that he finally had them back.  

“Doctor,” Jamie slurred out as he stirred. The Doctor could see that he was in the grip of some dream, and he suspected that it was not an entirely pleasant one.

“It’s all right, Jamie,” he murmured, squeezing his shoulder. “Sleep.”

Jamie immediately relaxed and went back to a more peaceful slumber. The Doctor nodded. Experience told him that Jamie would probably remain sound asleep for a few more hours, so he settled back against the couch and let himself get lost in his own meandering thoughts.

Soon, they would be starting some new adventure, but for now, the Doctor was content to savor the moment of peace that he had been given.

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

Walking along the silent corridors of the TARDIS, Victoria Waterfield wondered if she was still dreaming.

* * *

 

_After Jamie had left her in the guest quarters, she stood still in the middle of the room for a few minutes as if she had forgotten what it was she had come here to do. She looked down to see a dress draped over her hands._

_‘Yes, that’s right, I was going to refresh myself and change,’ she thought. ‘That’s what I was supposed to do.’_

_She sat the dress down onto the bed and walked into a small room that was attached to the one she was in to discover what looked like a washroom, complete with a tub that was sunken into the floor. She bathed and changed, feeling at least marginally better than she had in days afterwards._

_Once she was done, she sat down on the bed and opened her small satchel of belongings she managed to hold onto when she was taken to Skaro. She pulled out her hairbrush and ran it along her scalp. She straightened her hair for a few moments before letting the brush fall to the floor and burying her face in her hands._

_‘Father….’_

_Tears dribbled out of her eyes as she laid down onto her side. Memories, disjointed and random, filled her mind and she found it impossible to hold onto any particular one of them. Her heart was awash with grief as her recollections of her father flooded her brain like a tidal wave of emotions and thoughts._

_Several minutes later, Victoria’s tears wound down, leaving her too exhausted to do anything else other than sleep._

* * *

 

Victoria reached over to touch one of the walls. She could feel warmth and energy coursing through the metal which felt unlike anything she had seen in the laboratories where her father and Maxtible had worked. The more time she spent in the TARDIS, the more it seemed like something out of a fairy tale or a dream.

‘ _I wonder where this ship came from,’_ she mused. ‘ _I suppose it must be from wherever the Doctor is from.’_

_‘But then…where is that?’_

Victoria let her hand fall and shook her head. After she had woken up, she felt groggy, her eyes gummy and sore, but her head was a little clearer. She had thought that she would still feel a crippling sorrow, but was surprised to discover that she felt restless more than anything else. Days of being trapped all alone in a series of rooms made her reluctant to stay in this one by herself. She opened the door and walked out, her steps quiet and cautious.

‘ _This place…it’s so big. I must make sure to mind where I go or I could be lost. Who knows if the Doctor or Jamie would ever find me.’_

Victoria had left the door slightly open to her room and was now walking along the corridor toward the room Jamie had first brought her to with all the clothes. From there she went over to the room that she remembered the young Scot telling her was a sort of kitchen. She was pleasantly surprised to see a plate with a couple of sandwiches on it and a pitcher of water with some glasses on a counter. She poured herself a glass of water and took the plate over to a table that was wedged into a corner opposite of the door.

As she ate and drank, she thought again of the situation she was currently in. She still missed her father and wondered what she would do without him. However, the larger part of her realized that her grief had not consumed her and was surprised by this. It wasn’t until she dared to look back on the whole thing, from the very first moment when she first encountered the Daleks and became their prisoner, that it occurred to her that she had subconsciously prepared herself for this possibility all along. The ruthlessness of the Daleks had been evident from the beginning and Victoria hadn’t been able to stop herself from believing that she and her father might not escape their clutches with their lives. Thus, the events that did happen felt like fate playing its hand toward an inevitable end.

‘ _Father, I do miss you,’_ she said to herself. ‘ _I probably always will. I can’t see things ever being as happy as they were before. But just as you learned to carry on after Mother died, I shall learn too. I shall not let your great efforts to save my life be in vain.’_

With a trembling hand, she finished the water in her glass and pushed the empty plate away from her. She took a couple of deep breaths before standing up and placing the dishes back where she found them. Then she slowly walked back out into the corridor, continuing to study and memorize her path as she strolled along.

She eventually ended up in the control room. She looked around for the Doctor or Jamie, but couldn’t see either of them. She studied the panels of instrumentation in front of her for a few moments, marveling at how simple and yet complex they appeared to her.

‘ _The Doctor and Jamie said that all these instruments control our flight through…what was it he said? “The universe of time”? Does that mean we will be traveling to other worlds as well as other times? Oh, I hope that they won’t all be like that terrible Dalek planet.’_

Victoria shuddered at the prospect of running into more alien races and hoped that they would stay away from anyone from another world. But then she remembered that she was already in the company of an alien after all.

‘ _The Doctor…yes, he is not from Earth either. He does seem like a nice man though and Jamie seems to trust him.’_

_‘But what kind of man exactly is the Doctor?’_

Her brow crinkled as she considered this question. She imagined that the Doctor was much like her father in that they both appeared to be scientists with a passion for discovery. But unlike Maxtible, the Doctor did not appear to be a slave to scientific inquiry. He had a moral sense about him that she detected while they were prisoners on Skaro. Perhaps this was what her father respected about him.

‘ _Still, what brings such a man to a place like our world?’_ she wondered. ‘ _My father and Maxtible may have been able to make amazing scientific breakthroughs in their laboratories, but I’m sure none of them were as astounding as all this. Their discoveries must have seemed like the playtime of toddlers to someone like the Doctor. So, why would he come here to Earth? What could be here that could compare to the wonders that surely exist on his own planet?’_

_‘And why would he choose to travel with people from Earth instead of his own kind?’_

Victoria’s face grew even more thoughtful as she contemplated this question. While she had been searching for some clothes to wear, she had asked Jamie as politely as she could if he was from another world too. He had smiled and laughed as he assured her that he was from Earth just like her.

However, she was in for another shock when he told her that he was a survivor of the battle of Culloden, a battle she knew had taken place more than a hundred years before she was born.

Her mind had gone back to her history lessons and she remembered reading about the struggle in a book about the Jacobite rebellions. She vaguely recalled that the book had made Culloden seem like a minor skirmish for England, but it soon sunk in that that was not the case for the Highlanders, many of whom were either killed in battle or hanged shortly thereafter. Her remembrance of what she had learned was very dreary and dry, much like the book she had read. But now it saddened her to think that many brave, young men like Jamie died in that battle.

‘ _And Jamie probably would have joined those lost souls if the Doctor hadn’t intervened,’_ she thought. ‘ _He would have been another nameless death within the pages of a history book. How horrible.’_

  It was then that she realized that it was probable that Jamie was an orphan with no family just like her, his family having been wiped out a series of battles without even a victory to give their deaths meaning. Despite her own bereavement, she felt sadness at the idea that he had lost so much.

‘ _And yet, he seems content,’_ she pondered. ‘ _At least, he doesn’t seem to be unhappy here. The Doctor must have decided to look after him the same way my father asked him to look after me. It does follow given what I’ve seen from him thus far.’_

_‘But why do such a thing? Why choose to travel with a Highlander from Culloden? What are people like myself or Jamie to someone like the Doctor?’_

For a brief moment, she thought that perhaps Jamie was recruited to be a sort of servant or assistant to the Doctor, but she quickly put that idea aside. When she was with them on Skaro, she did note that Jamie seemed to defer to the Doctor, but she did not sense any trace of subservience in the young Scot’s demeanor nor did the Doctor act with an air of rigid authority or detachment toward him. Instead there seemed to be something far more personal that was hidden behind a wall of tension between them. That tension, however, could not completely obscure the affection they appeared to have for each other. 

‘ _That moment, when the Doctor went through that doorway and pretended to be like one of those monsters…Jamie was so heartbroken. So crushed and defeated. As if he had lost a dear friend. Then when the Doctor came back and freed us and then when we escaped Skaro together, the both of them seemed so relieved and happy to see each other alive and well.’_

Victoria sighed and shook her head. She could still sense some uneasiness between the Doctor and Jamie as they made their way to the TARDIS and left Skaro. She worried about what this would mean for the future if that uneasiness turned into a much more severe atmosphere of dissent. She knew that it was not her place to intrude on such private matters, but she hoped that if she talked to each of them, some headway could be made to a resolution.

She went back to exploring the corridors when a glow from farther down the hallway caught her attention. She walked over toward it and gently nudged the door open to find a study with a fireplace ablaze toward the center of the room. Victoria could see the Doctor sitting on the couch. She slowly stepped into the room and walked off to the side to move in front of him. Once she was there, she smiled at what she saw.

The Doctor was slumped down, his head propped against the edge of the couch and his eyes closed. Jamie was on the couch with him, curled up on his side, his head lying on a pillow in the Doctor’s lap. One of the Doctor’s hands was resting on Jamie’s shoulder and both of them were sleeping peacefully. It was clear to Victoria that whatever had been placing such a strain on their camaraderie had been resolved. Now she was catching a glimpse of how things actually were between them.

As she processed this with everything else she had observed between them, Victoria could not decide if their association was one of a mentor and student, a father and son, or of close and steadfast friends. Then it occurred to her that perhaps all of these possibilities were merely different facets that had been woven together into a complex tapestry by threads of fondness and attachment, a tapestry that could only be appreciated as a whole as opposed to trying to unravel it to find its central structure.

Victoria beamed even more. It was such an impossible and absurd idea: a partnership between this enigmatic genius from another world and a piper from the battlefields of Scotland’s distant past. But somehow, it also made a perfect sort of sense.

‘ _They belong here,’_ she mused. ‘ _It may have been chance or providence or accident, but in the end they belong together. And whoever the Doctor may be, it seems his heart makes no distinction between people from his own world and people from places alien to him. ’_

Victoria covered her mouth with her hand to muffle the soft laugh that escaped her lips. She was happy to discover that the universe now seemed to be full of promise and possibilities instead of just emptiness and isolation. Knowing that it had had room for this unlikely, yet endearing friendship to develop gave her hope that she would also find something more than what her life in Victorian England had left to offer her.

 Additionally, she suddenly felt an unexplainable surge of confidence fill her. Something about the way the Doctor and Jamie cared for each other made her believe that each of them would be just as generous with her. Soon, the trepidation she had felt about traveling with them began to dissipate.  

‘ _Yes, it will be all right,’_ she told herself. ‘ _I know that now. Somehow, I just know I can trust myself with these two…and that our travels will be the beginning of something truly special.’_      

Victoria nodded her head and carefully crept out of the room. Once she was in the corridor, she yawned and decided that some more sleep was in order so she could be ready for whatever happened when they arrived at their next destination. She walked back to her room with a renewed sense of hope in spite of the heaviness she still felt in her heart.

‘ _Yes, I’m sure it will be quite an adventure. And best of all, we shall experience it together.’_


End file.
